A day that Mothers Against Drunk Driving spokespeople hoped would be a valuable day of learning for the students of Kayawatha Junior High School has turned into a public relations nightmare. MADD had recently hired local videogame company Verysoft to produce a videogame that shows the effects of drinking alcohol on driving. In an open house presentation, MADD spokesperson Terry Wilkinson introduced the game and gave a half hour lecture about the effects of drunk diving. Afterwards, the game consoles were opened up to the students to try out for themselves. To say that things didn’t go according to plan would be an understatement.
“Well, the idea behind the game was to introduce kids to the dangers of drinking and driving through a medium that they will pay attention to, and enjoy.” Wilkinson explained, “Well, let’s just say that they were having a little too much fun during the part of the game where the driver was drunk.”
“This game is the BEST!” Bubbled 7th grader Jamal White, “The game was boring as hell when you were just driving around normally, but when Drink and Drive Dave starts drinking, the special effects are wicked! You start going a lot faster and there are all these cool light tracer effects, and the music gets waaaaay louder. Whenever you hit X, Dave pounds another shot of whiskey and things get even more awesomer. It’s also a lot easier to crash, which is sweet!”
The game was designed to be as realistic as possible, allowing players to choose what type of alcohol Dave ingests while driving the vehicle. Beer creates groggy response times and inability to keep your eyes on the road, whiskey increases anger and speed, while tequila creates blackouts lasting up to 30 seconds.
MADD staff noticed too late how the fun-level increased during the drunk driving segment of the game. The students signaled their enjoyment with whooping, high-fiving and a general air of excitement. After the game session was completed, Mr. Wilkinson stood in front of the auditorium and gave a grave speech focusing on the realities of drunk driving that everyone seemed to ignore.
“Drunk driving seems awesome,” said one Tiffany Lainstone, “I can’t wait until I’m sixteen!”
Most students shared her enthusiasm. “I drove into a gas station and everything exploded. I didn’t even think of doing that, I just sort of lost control and it happened. That’s badass!” Echoed Timothy Tremblay. “Videogames teach me what is and isn’t acceptable in the real world!”
Hahahahah. MADD will you do anything right?
Comment by skyler hype — August 21, 2009 @ 8:54 pm |
“Whenever you hit X, Dave pounds another shot of whiskey and things get even more awesomer. It’s also a lot easier to crash, which is sweet!”
I think he means when you TAKE X, Dave pounds another shot of whiskey and things gt awesomer. At least that’s what happens when I take (pound) ecstasy (X). But that 7th grader left out the part about the hookers and defecating in your pants while you ride home on the TTC.
Comment by Aizen — August 24, 2009 @ 6:34 pm |