Chili Peppers inspire mediocre children

Well known middle-of-the-road pop-funk, adult contemporary band the Red Hot Chili Peppers have recently created a school for children who want to make safe, mediocre music. The Silverlake Conservatory of Music is headed by legendary bass-soloist “Flea”, who is known for slapping his bass guitar with one hand while holding the strings of his bass against the frets of his bass guitar in a method of bass playing called “slapping” or “ruining a song”. Flea harkened back to his days of higher learning, “In high school and after high school, I was heading for disaster. I was on drugs; I was robbing people’s houses; I was wild on the street.” He said.

Experts are torn on whether the students will be taught how to play music that borrows heavily from other, cooler music, or if they will be taught how to write and play the same song and then live on that one song for their whole life. “There are various ways that children can emulate the RHCP” Said an unnamed source within the music industry, “I mean, what better way to teach high school poetry than by going through the Chili Peppers discography? I mean, other than that early phase with that gibberish rapping, there’s a lot of stuff that young children will be able to relate to with their simple minds and lack of experience with the world.”

Children have reacted in much the same way as audiences have over the past two decades when faced with the Chili Peppers’ music. “My mom recently played me some Red Hot Chili Peppers around the house. I liked some of it, but some of it I didn’t like so much.” Said precocious young truth-teller Leo Dacter, who may or may not be suspended for telling it how it is.

Link to Original CNN Article